Raya 2009 was beautiful. Firstly, i got all the 29 days. never missed one date. Then when raya came, we already prepare things before hand like cleaning and stuff. Include cooking.

I was cooking ketupat when my the gas run off so we called the gas people to come and replace with a new one. He could not open the gas head and uses force with a knife then it open. once fixed back, it was ok. so we continue cooking the whole night for 5 hrs. We felt asleep when cooking the ketupat as it was the last dish on the eve of raya.

once we wake up, we switch off the stove and we smell gas even after switching off the fire. When we open the gas cabin, we hear the gas leak from the pipe. The whole cabin was full of gas smell. If i was to open the cabin while we are cooking, it would explode. It was a miracle on raya night that we survive this. we switch off the main gas switch and call the person again on the raya day.

Sometimes i felt that this yr was my last year. Coz many things happen and nearly get me killed but it was just wasnt my time yet. For example. during the fasting month, i nearly got into an accident when a car just drive into my lane without checking his blindspot. luckily i notice and jam break. if not i will be sandwhich in between them. an on the first day of puasa, a black car tailed me and due to his impatient, he beam and make me scare so i could move away but i keep cool and he speed off later he crashed into aother car. If i was to go on the same speed, i would clashed onto him.

Like i said, it wasnt my time yet. 

I was taking audio and video production techniques for my unisim module this semester. I love that module coz i love making movie but i didn’t expect the module that i love will turn to the most hatred thing for me. We became close friends and share secrets with one another. Laughing and having dinner together before class until the project starts, all these changed.
We were a group of 5 to present a video for our project. And we have to hold a post for this production.

Producer: Only knows how to arrange meeting with BIG clients but not sure about how to go around doing it. Unable to plan a simple target aim for the group. Wanted to be the actress of the video but not able to pronounce the word properly. Does not take control of the team. The biggest backstabber ever known.

Director: Intervene in everyone's work. Assign duties for each member. Planned out the flow of the project. Choose location for shooting. Rejected writer's scripts a lot of time. Giving remarks to members if they did something wrong.

Writer: Too many modules taken in a semester. Not enough time to write a storyline. Did not even do any research at all. Expect members to understand her problems that she has so many assignments to do. CLAIMED the storyline was hers for the project. Always late for any meeting. Always talks about her boyfriend.

Cameraman: Knows the real situation of the group but never voice out when needed. Afraid that might affect friendship. Being middle man but always sided the best friend who is the video editor.

Video Editor: Always ASSUME that people would do this and that so act out before discussed. Wanted to voice out and not listen to the story flow. Never keep her promised. Never turn up for the meeting most of the time. Always disturb the meeting with side track of other stories.

Who's worst? The story begins...

1st video
Producer was working in ttsh and she suggested taking the video as it would be convenient for her as her workplace is working on the same story. No green light whatsoever from the school, she called for a meeting and we have to spend 2 weeks half day off for this. Producer also sends an email to reprimand everyone's behaviors during this project like no commitment which led to everyone against her and not like her at all. We not only attend the official meeting with the client but also personal meetings after work to do this video. We are supposed to come up with a storyboard to present to the client. Producer rejected all storyboards and wanted to go with hers only. Later to find out that Director's storyboard was better then hers as said by the Lecturer, the producer's boss did not want us in anymore after a long battle to get this a green light project from the school. Writer did not even do any storyboard at all. This triggers the more hatred by members towards producer. Producer was venting her frustration and anger over sms to video editor saying about quitting her module and retaking it (threatening) to her, video editor was her friend but instead, video editor told everyone about it. The battle did not end until one day the director had enough and send a massive email of peace and everyone accepted it and move on but the producer have doubt in this email.

2nd video
since the first video failed, we have no choice but to take the video given by school. Producer wanted her old post back but everyone was against it as she failed to perform so the writer wanted her post but director came up with special post to satisfy everyone and it settle. The writer is now an executive producer. She has to assist the producer but she did not even do her story at all nor assisting the producer. Our aim making her executive producer is to overlook the producer’s job but later she quit and just wanting to be a writer which she even failed to do. Since the battle in the first video, the producer was giving everyone cold shoulder. Director helped to run the members on her behalf as she was not in the mood to talk to anyone. Cameraman was still angry with producer over the first video. Director helps to structure the storyline so the writer could write. When there is a meeting with the client, she came late so she could not be in the meeting. Video is still in the planning when Swine Flu outbreak happens. So video was cancelled. What a good timing isn’t it? Producer writers to school as instructed by Director and they gave us a new video on Swine Flu Awareness.

3rd video
Producer did not do anything at all or call any meeting about the 3rd video coz she was down with duties. She did not even plan what is the next step. She totally disappears. Everyone agree with this. So something has to be done coz our dateline is only 3 weeks away. One week exam so left with 2 weeks. Director was waiting for producer and so was every members but nothing was planned what to do therefore Director took steps into her own hands and planned for a meeting about this swine flu thing. Only 3/5 came. Producer was down for duties and video editor cannot come. No reason given. So Director, cameraman and writer came and discussed about the storyline. Planned on what to show. Writer keeps quiet all the time and takes notes instead of giving ideas. Director planned for the shooting dates and location and producer agrees so does everyone. Stick according to plan.

Since Director has some vision for the movie, she instructed her members to do the following.
Writer: do research about the Swine Flu for the storyline content.
Producer: some pigs videos
Video editor: a flash animation on affected countries
Cameraman: newspaper articles

See the original email below by Director:

Our main aim is to produce a good video. But if the storyline is not good, then we have to improve regadless of whatever role la.This is my feedback for all scripts.

Writer’s Scripts: agree with Cameraman. its too lengthy and too much conversation throughout.
Produer’s Scripts: i like the idea of reporter and interview included. some info could be used.
Director’s Scripts: too dramatic /not needed(Scene1) and too much impt info. only voice over.
Public awareness video is a message that needs to deliver to the public.

Have we achieved that aim? Ask urself this when reading the storylines?
My job is to look at the creative aspect of the video as Director.

A combined from 3 Storyline Structures
A small act of sneeze
A presenter throughout
A few interviews asking public on the topic
A bit of info on swine and updates
Message:
Look out for symptoms
take precaution measures
Ending with Advice.

This storyline structure is good enough for public awareness video and its FINAL...

Task to do list:

Video Editor,
i still need that animation.
Outbreak world map animation video (something diff from the rest) tks.
 
Producer,
pls download the pigs video in a thumbdrive. tks.
 
Cameraman,
prepare the newspaper cutting on start, death tolls and yellow Dorscon . and other news u find interesting. iron out nicely if possible. no crumple. tks.
 
Writer,
will be a great use to contributing of acting skills for the weekend and other small posts. tks. bring the laptop on sat and pass to Video Editor
 
Director,
re-organized the scripts according to the new storyline,
planned the schedule for weekends
planned the locations for filming.
 
No more discussion on this! It time to FILM!
 
Final Planning.
 
Sat & Sun (16/5 & 17/5) - Filming 8am at location.
I have a lot of reasons why it must be 8am. if u r taking bus, pls come out early. thanks. Cameraman and Me will be driving. Producer with me, the rest with Cameraman to help with the equipment. Sunday night write report. Lecturer smsed said, 5 reports plus one DVD for submission.
 
Mon(18/5): Video Editor do all editing and flash by herself. u have to finish the editing by monday night. i know u can do it. For all, email me softcopy of ur report in PDF form latest 12midnight. i will collate. to be safe, just submit online as well to turnitin. only one page.
 
Tues(19/5): will take the laptop from Video Editor’s school and go to Cameraman house for sound implementation. bg music and then if voice over require, the person has to come down as well. Final video rendered.
 
Wed (20/5): Backup date.
 
Thursday (21/5): Since my sister having exam, i'm sending her to UniSIM. therefore, i will submit the ECA. Cameraman can return the equipment. call Lecturer for appt. someone can go with her? equip heavy.
 
NOTE: Everything will not change even if we finish the shooting on sat. Stick to the plan.
 
Location on saturday will be at compass point 8am for breakfast at Mac Donald. 8.30pm we will head to wet market at Rivervale Plaza with cars. (interview scenes on swine flu.)
 
Everybody lets pray for our successful video!...
 
Yours truly,
Director

Writer did not do a good job at all for the storyline. No enough content for public awareness so Director chips in and write. For a successful story, the storyline must be good or with sufficient content to deliver before any production take’s place. Director only gave a small comment on how the writer did not commit to this video and suggest she could do more which everyone agrees 100%. So she sends an email regarding this and CC to everyone. Writer was tick off with Director. And declare war but to Director surprised, no one back her up at all even they know it’s the truth. Director was totally upset with the members.

Producer did not argue with Director when instructed to find the video on pigs. In fact, she found some goods videos and impressed everyone.

Video editor has flash background knowledge to do animation but end up she gave Director a crappy one. What was instructed was never done. Eg. Director wanted a flash on swine flu with black and white background world map then red dots appearing as the affected countries but video editor gave Director a white background and blue world map with pigs graphic appearing on the countries. The message was totally wrong so Director called video editor and explained. Video editor said that she also want to have some say in this flash but Director turn her down and explained why she has to do her way. Video editor complaint that she has to edit more things or redo the whole thing again which she reluctant to do. Firstly, the animation done by her was like whatever so Director just draw the world map again with the red dot in a new file and send to her for animation. She then tells the Director that she does not know how to animate the red dot so director guide her over the phone. Is like asking for help but helping her to help myself. Crap isn’t it?

Cameraman was asked by the Director to cut some newspaper articles but she said that she did not read any newspapers and would try to ask her friends. Director helped her by collecting it from the school and passed to her so she could do her job. Director asked everyone who has newspaper and passed to her. So video editor KPO go cut out the newspapers instead for cameraman.

We only start shooting after the exam. Since Director was free, she took all the 3 scripts and re-writes the storyline helping the writer but received no gratitude at all. The truth is, she did not take anything from them and come out totally with a new script. In a script, there are two columns. Visual and Audio. Director wrote for both but let the Writer who writes crappy scripts take the credit for it but only for the audio one. Producer disagrees when Director who claim for the visual script. Since the exam is over, writer wanted to do some writing. LOL. One day before shooting and she offer to write for the audio part but Director turns her down coz need planning of what to bring for the shooting already. So writer said whatever la. She didn’t even bother to read the scripts at all and just turn up for the shooting but this time not late.

Shooting was fun. The funny thing is that everyone asked the Director what to bring on that day. And even the producer asked Director what is the planning for today which is the shooting day. So Director planned the two days on the spot and the locations as well. Director asked Producer to ask the cold storage in sengkang for permission to shoot a scene inside which she did not asked at all so plans changed and Director brought the members to the Rivervale Plaza. There was an interview scene where producer and director have to get people to come and talk in front of the camera. Another funny incident, cameraman was holding the camera, the writer was putting on the headset and the video editor who holds the role as boom operator holds the mic. Shouldn’t the boom operator also put on the headset? The write said that the sound was not clear enough so producer check and said that the sound button was switched to the wrong channel. Cameraman was angry at the writer for saying you didn’t check mei? Well to me, it’s the cameraman fault. U should know which channel was supposed to be on. We wasted 3 good interviews and need to redo. The day went on fine.

Then the horror came. It’s time for video editor to edit the video. As planned, she was supposed to let director see the video on Tuesday but she called Director on Monday. Director was on urgent leave as her mum was not well. Video editor arranged a personal meeting with director and asked her to come over to her school but director wanted to meet at compasspoint at she has appointment at 6pm. negotiating the time and ended at 4pm. She said exactly when she leaves she will call Director. This means she is coming so Director called her sister and eat lunch with her first so Director came down early after cooking lunch for her mum. When having lunch, video editor called Director and suggest going to her place. Director told her that she was at the compass point already and video editor said she got headache and dun want to meet Director and would cancel the meeting. Director was angry but she cool off and tell her to come no matter how late it is. She is asking for my help and yet she wants Director to go over to her place. Who does she think she is? Called her again and asked her have she reached? She then told Director she dun have to follow everything Director said. What the @8%$#%@ la? Seriously. She is the one who called Director and asked Director to come down but yet she said like this. Director was so upset and scold her over the phone and she cut Director off. This makes Director angrier. Director called the cameraman and despite hearing what was happening, she said, Director must understand that she was doing the video all night. The cameraman did not even see the situation. Blinded by friendship and sided the video editor. Director was still angry and called producer as she thought as a friend to complaint against but was backfired in an email and stories were told to all. Of course when we are angry, We would say nasty things right. Backstabber!

Director asked video editor why is she doing that and her explanation was not relevant. Both of them were afraid of Director. Label the director perfectionist and always reject the ideas or intervene their post. As a director, she explain why she rejects and her explanation is solid. And they agree. They told Director they dun like to be asked around to do things coz Director not the producer. But Director explained producer didn’t do anything so someone has to step up and command or take charge. Cameraman and video editor agrees with this before so Director step up. Director would be happy if any of them do it but they dun. So when Director asked, they are angry at Director? Is it the way Director asked them? Yes they said… Its silly la. Dun makes sense at all. How nice you want Director to ask you? How polite do u want Director to ask you? Video editor said since Director reject many stories from the writer, she afraid that Director will reject hers too… Director asked her why should Director reject her video. It’s planned out black and white and just follow it will do. Then Director will help the cameraman with the sound. Just teach her garage band then compile. Video editor assume that Director will re-do her editing. She assume too much. She will predict Director will do this and that which Director dun. Director realized that Director has intervene and rejected many stories from writer so to end the fight, Director just apologies to all. But no one see Director point as Director. As director, Director have to see the creative aspect of the video and intervene all post. Director surrender again.

Then the written report. People claimed what was not theirs. Even with simple suggesting a camera angle also can write down. People contribute by just giving audio files also must write down. War broke again between producer and director. Director wrote that she planned the shooting day and location and producer said that it was her duty and she dun look good if Director write that. Huh? She only realized it now? So Director said Director did that so Director write. Then she send massive email of backstab words about Director. She talks about Director asking for fairness but her sms was also the same yet she comments Director on that. Then Director intervene with everyone work. Which Director only did to writer…She said Director dun let her plan. Nonsense. She didn’t plan so someone must take charge. She only knows to talk to client but all these planning she doesn’t know. She said director only works during production. This shows that her knowledge in production is poor. Since she is the one submitting the report, Director just surrender even it’s not Director fault afraid that she will not submit mine.Director have been seriously wronged and upset over the remarks given by you once called friend.

It’s 3 am in the morning and I can’t sleep thinking about all these. Been feeling moody all the time since the project ends. I can’t express everything out and now I can in words. This has affected me greatly in work and I’m not the same person that I used to be. I’m not able to comment anymore if any of my students did something wrong and that is seriously not good. I have to pick myself up and endure all this.

What sadden the Director the most is when she needs backup, it wasnt there but they knew that Director was telling the truth and they agree with her. I am that DIRECTOR! and i have been apologising for the wrong reason just to end a silly fight. I love this module and i have fun during the shooting but i hate my crew and wish i would never cross path with them again.Is it too early to say coz i'm seeing the writer and cameraman in my next module.

Been sick all the time and wondering when it would be over. Maybe i have not enough rest. Maybe i just need to sleep more. One sick after another. First it was the high fever then the stomach flu now followed by the bad coughing that makes my throat painful.

i dun like the feeling of being sick but there are just too many things to do and i just cant stop working. that is when my body starts to break down. i dun have proper meal, proper sleep nor rest and i just work all the time. if not, i would be studying all the time. even now when i am sick, i would think of doing my tma. wondering when will this sickness end?

A day to remember. I went to the Singapore EXPO for a function as a whole family, It ended at 1pm so we had our lunch at the Bedok Corner. Then later we headed straight to the SUNTEC Convention Center. It was the last day of the IT SHOW and my reason to drive there was to get a GPS device. It was worth it. It cost me $200. At least now i felt save if i was to lost my way in Singapore.

The nightmare started when i left the SUNTEC CITY. I was using the GPS device and was leaving the AYE when my break fails to work. It sunk it and it did not stop. I was approaching a vehicle fast. Because of my quick thinking, i geared down and change lane fast but due to heavy traffic, i still have to stop and the vehicle in front of me did not move. I thought i will crash into it. Luckily, when i was about to crash, it went off. I really didn't know what would happen if i am to crash into it...

I send the car for service and this is what they told me. Its going to be ok but IF IT HAPPEN AGAIN, JUST TRY TO STEP ON THE BREAK AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL IT CAN BE BREAK.

When i hit a curb and my bumper break, i can take it.
When i cause and indirect accident to someone else, i can take it.
When i was involved in an accident, i can still take it

but if my car's break fail to work, that i can't take it. coz every time when i i press the break pedal, i was afraid it would happen again. i have lost my confidence on the 15th March 2009.

But i know one thing, i will not let my fear conquered me. I will drive to get my confidence back even if it takes sometime. This is the day i survive the accident.

Summary
3 days - hit curb 04 - $200
3 months - Cause indirect accident 04 - $800
3 yrs - Accident 07 - $0
3 yrs - Car's break fail 09 - $500

On the 13th of March upon receiving a phone call from my mum saying my sis was in the changi general hospital, i was shocked by the news and drove all the way from Bukit Merah to Simei. I wasn't thinking straight so when suddenly i realized that was too late so i breaked hard at a junction just in time to stop for the red light. When i reached there, i waiting for my sis in the A&E until the next morning just to know that her leg was swollen and the doctor knew nothing was wrong about her. They pushed her case to the specialist. I didnt get any sleep at all. but once her leg was backed to normal, she went out with her friends.. Doctor asked her to sit at home and relaxed but she was stubborn. Now she's feeling unwell again.

Everytime when i come to this page, i do not know where to start. Its just gone blank. Thats a lot to say but dont know where to start. Again i'm stuck here! Dont know what to think anymore. Too many things has been going on. Work and school is really a pressure to me now. Where do i stand in my work and study is really giving me a hard time to take time off just to do that. Wondering when will all this end?

Thinking about these, i have neglected my religion. Not really doing much praying now nor even read Quran. Felt being far away from Allah. Where do i start to bring my way back to HIM?

Why is it so hard to express my feelings in this blog?
Afraid that my friends and students are reading about it... Can't really show who is the real me? To get a private blog which turn to be public. I am going berserk if i am not talking about it. Who can i talk to? GOD?

Prayers begin....

When its time to blog, i have nothing to say but when i'm not blogging, i have a lot to say. Dun know where to start?

Now i'm more involved with D&T Lessons. Helping students to do their project work for O'level. I have to seat in together with the D&T instructors to help students one at a time. I can't help all at one time. but what i dun really like is when they are rude towards their teacher. These teachers main aim was to help them but instead they make fun of them. There is a limit toward teacher's patience and once its gone, its not going to be nice.

Came at 7.30am
Eat breakfast bought by Low
Called to AVA half way breast and sat in front of the door as a receptionist to mark attendance
Lenz helped me to bring out the table
Met a lot of parents
Seen many ex students
Introduce as the GUARDIAN of Students and D&T facilities
Students made a lot of noise and a parent is unhappy about it.
Could not hear clearly as the voices were so soft
Could not see clearly as the printing were too light on the screen
Took photos of the event
Ended at 11am

Attended another meeting from 1pm to 9pm (Confidential)

Reached home at 10pm....

Where do i get one? A blog is something to express what's in you and i can't do that coz my student might read it or my family then they will get worried or make fun of me. I'm suffocating right now! cant breath a word about how i feel nor express it. Feeling tired all day and all i want to do is sleep. but that needs time and i dun have any. Juggling with work, school and commitment is very difficult right now. For now, i'm taking one step at a time and trying to put all that emotion in an empty box and stored in an empty cupboard pretending that i am a ROBOT and ROBOT dun have anytime for emotion. It just need to execute command given from the BRAIN.

Happy New Year to everyone and selamat tahun baru Islam as well.

I have 3 new year resolutions and there are:-

1. Be fit
2. Be healthy
3. Have patience

Where to start?

1. Changed Job from IT Trainer to Technology Coach

I thought i would go on for a few more years at least finished my Degree then change job but it was just not meant to be. I'm happy with the current job that i am doing. Good job scope and good people. Hope it will stay that way.

2. Pass another module

Slowly but one module has passed and a new one will be more challenging. I will take it slow as long as i am able to clear and get the Degree.

3. Not able to sell my car and have to wait for at least 2 more years

I thought of changing a new car but was required to top up 18K so better NOT! Will have to wait on wanting to get a new car. I have a few cars in mind and that will have to wait. My hyundai is still in good condition and hope it will still last for a few more years and not give me any problems at all.

4. Korea vacation was beautiful.

This year vacation was a memorable one. Breath taking view and wonderful experience. Where will i go next year? Need to save up money for vacation and study.

I went to Gelay Serai in the afternoon at around 4pm when i found many Thailand males and females youngsters were seating in front of the 711. It was too many and it was so many that it spreads to the TKC outskirts. A lot were loitering and seating. Groups seating here and there and you know this will eventually starts a fight.

Its indescribable! I thought the place where i went to would be safe and it is not anymore... I am afraid to walk alone or even with my family to that street.. This year, it seems like there are really many foreigners workers working in Singapore.. Since Sunday is their off day, they would also wants to enjoy life...  I hope they will put in more police officers to patrol in that area to prevent such fights in future and scare off Singaporeans to shop in that area...

On my way back, i heard shouting across the street where i was supposed to go but due to the shouting, i'm afraid to cross. Can't really see what was happening but i know they are fighting as i saw a man in red t-shirt was kicking something and many of them run in different directions to avoid the fighting... There were double decker buses blocking the scene so i walked away and when i do turn back, i saw an angry man was kicking the dustbin...

Singapore is where i called home.... I have doubt in that sentence...

I went to a friend's funeral yesterday... He was working at SGS... He was about 56 years old... His duty in that school was to clean the computer labs where i used to work and printing of exam papers in the office... when he came to clean the computer lab, we would sit and chat about stuff in school.. He's like a father figure to me that cares about people around him and he would give good advice and asked me to be patience all the time till i loose it and left the school... but before i do that, i already asked for forgiveness if i would have done or say something wrong towards him...

The office clerk of SGS called me on Friday to inform me that the late Mr Jamil passed away in the afternoon when he was on the way back from his friday's prayer... Since the body was brought back to the hospital, I am not able to visit his funeral and had to wait a day which was finally yesterday at 2 pm... I was there in the morning and waited for the body to be brought back home... To get to see him for the last time before he was being cremated... I felt pain in my heart for losing a friend whom i knew for 4 years...

May Allah forgive all his sins and placed him in Heaven...

Dance Song is LOW - Step Up 2

This event is judge by VIPs...
1. Jason Teo, Media Development Authority (MDA)
2. Hawyee Auyong, Economic Development Board (EDB)
3. DJ Nad-trix, Professional DJ instructor of iSHOP
4. Bill Claxton, Singapore Digital Media Award SDMA, aka SVA.
5. Eric Tan, Temasek Secondary, RoboCupJunior Australia Judge in Sep 2008.

HAHAHA.. I teach them how to dance...